Eurovision thrives on drama, metaphor, and poetic lyrics but what if we took them WAY too seriously? In this series, we’re hilariously misinterpreting iconic Eurovision hits, twisting their messages into completely misguided scenarios. 

Today’s victim? ABBA’s Waterloo. Forget love and grand declarations! This song was clearly written about the chaos of surviving London’s busiest train station. Every line suddenly makes WAY too much sense when applied to delayed trains, Pret addictions, and the existential dread of rush-hour crowds. 

Waterloo Was Never About Love—It’s Just Public Transport Chaos 

ABBA might have meant Waterloo as a metaphor for surrendering to love, but we know the truth: It’s actually the lived experience of anyone who has fought their way through Waterloo Station. Let’s break it down. 

 “I was defeated, you won the war.”
This clearly describes the battle with the ticket barriers when your contactless mysteriously stops working. No matter how many times you tap, the machine rejects you. You admit defeat and seek out a staff member, who sighs like someone who has seen this tragedy unfold a thousand times before. 

 “And I will love you forevermore.”
No, this isn’t about devotion to a partner—it’s obviously about Pret-a-Manger inside the station. You swore you wouldn’t buy another oat latte today, but here you are, seduced once more by the warm embrace of overpriced coffee and a croissant that costs more than rent. 

 “Couldn’t escape if I wanted to.”
The most accurate description of Waterloo’s rush-hour vortex. The second you step onto the concourse, you are swept into a relentless tide of commuters, pulled in directions you never intended to go. Your train is right there, but the crowd carries you further from the platform. You will miss it. This is your fate now. 

 “Waterloo, knowing my fate is to be with you.”
You didn’t choose to spend half your life trapped in Waterloo Station. But you’re here now. Whether it’s a delayed train, an indecipherable platform change, or simply waiting for a friend who’s somehow gotten lost inside the WHSmith, one thing is clear: You and Waterloo are bound together. Forever. 

It’s not a love story! It’s just public transport chaos wrapped in a catchy melody. 

Stay tuned for more Eurovision classics hilariously misinterpreted. 
Who’s next on the list? 

Source: Eurovision Ireland, ABBA’s Youtube Channel